BY NIKKI WILLIAMS
The family home is getting to be too much for
Mom and Dad. Or perhaps Mom has fallen and
the doctor doesn’t want her living in a house
with stairs. Should Dad still be driving with his
declining vision?
Members of the 50-plus age group now find
themselves facing these and other aging parent
dilemmas. What are the choices for aging
parents? How can their adult children help?
Ideally, grown children have spent quality
time with aging parents long before issues that
go with their advancing age begin. They have
talked openly together about finances and plans
and wishes for the future. When this has not
happened, solutions take more time and are
often subject to more resistance from parents.
With the Internet, information about senior
housing and care options for the aging adult is
now a lot easier to find. There are also many
professional care managers who guide people
through the whole process, whether it be things
like assessing an elder’s needs, finding help so
that an aging person can stay at home, or downsizing
the number of belongings and settling
him or her comfortably in a new environment.
Family physicians can make recommendations,
or the local county Office for the Aging.
Some of the best advice can come from people
who have already had to deal with aging parent
issues. Their experiences and lessons learned
can be a valuable resource.
Senior living arrangements generally break
down into three categories: independent living,
assisted living, and long-term (or skilled) care.
There are many varieties of independent
housing for seniors: large and small, for-profit
and not-for-profit, subsidized and market rate,
no services to full services.
Upscale independent living has cottages or
buildings with luxury apartments, gyms, activities
and travel, housekeeping services, and
restaurants. This more exclusive and expensive
housing sometimes requires ownership of the
living quarters or the payment of entry fees that
may be returned in full or in part if the senior
leaves for any reason.
More modest buildings offer fewer amenities
at a lower cost, but can still be a great source
of community living providing informal support
systems, some services, activities, and meal
plans. This housing generally requires just a
lease and the payment of rent each month.
Subsidized independent housing for lower income
seniors requires that seniors not exceed income limits. They must fully disclose financial
information.
Rents in such apartments are usually 30
percent of the senior’s income and the rental
subsidy usually comes from the U.S. Department
of Housing and Urban Development
(HUD). Applicants are generally screened for
such things as citizenship status, credit worthiness,
and criminal history.
Most independent housing for seniors allows
residents to have help in the apartment,
so a parent aging in place can hired an aide if
that becomes necessary. Seniors can stay in
independent housing as long as they can solve
problems and act safely.
Assisted living is the right place for elders
who cannot take proper care of themselves
when living independently, but who do not yet
require skilled care given in nursing homes.
Assisted living generally provides private rooms
or suites, three meals a day, laundry and housekeeping
services, medication management,
24-hour supervision, or a combination of these
services for a monthly fee. Many assisted living
facilities specialize in memory care for elders
with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia
(confusion and forgetfulness).
New York state offers minimal financial assistance
opportunities for this level of care making
it difficult to obtain for low income seniors.
Seniors who need daily attention from a
nurse or other medical professional require
what is called long term or skilled care. This was, and sometimes still is called a nursing
home.
A medical assessment covering the senior’s
ability to perform their own personal care and
that assesses their decision making skills,
level of forgetfulness or confusion, and medical
needs is required before admission.
Today’s skilled care is not what older seniors
remember from years ago. Residents in long
term care can now enjoy the less institutional
setting of modern buildings with homey rooms,
and stimulating activities, as well as less restrictive
visiting hours and more flexibility with meal
times and choices.
States have programs to help pay for longterm
care for those who cannot afford it. The
counsel of a well-regarded elder law attorney
years before skilled care is on the horizon is a
must for anyone with assets.
Williams is a certified aging services professional
at The Wesley Community.
Photo Courtesy The Wesley Community