Happy Mother’s Day!

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I really wanted to get this question answered in time for
mother’s day, but it’s been a busy few weeks. Besides, I didn’t get to see my mother to celebrate until this week, so I think it still
counts. Plus, mothers definitely deserve recognition more than one day a
year. So, to all the moms out there… this one is for you.

We have all heard the term maternal instinct and there is antidotal
evidence of its existence. Mothers, when given the option, will leap in front of a bullet
rather than let their child die. I mean that both figuratively and literally.
But is this instinctual? Or is it something else?

To start, this bond (whatever it may be) is not true of all
mothers. Among non-human life forms, we see that there are mothers who will eat
their children, abandon them and give them away.

On the flip side, many are very protective of their
children. They fight off predators, risking their life. Some primates will carry the body of their dead young, as if unable
to accept the loss. When a baby empire penguin dies, the mother will try and
steal another penguin’s baby to replace hers.
I’m not a hundred percent sure if any of this proves maternal
instinct or not but it does show a bond has formed with their young.

Mothers of
the animal kingdom have also been known to take on the responsibility of
children that are not their own when their biological mother is unable to.

Obviously, humans don’t eat their children. When a mother puts a
baby up for adoption, it’s not abandonment. It’s often a very hard decision and
is not because the child is unwanted. If anything, it’s a selfless act; they
truly believe that the baby will have a better life with someone else. But bonding with a child that is not your own, may suggest there is something else linking a mother to her child.

Studies conduct with the aid of MRIs have shown that women
respond more to their own children than other children who are displaying signs
of the same level of stress or happiness. I’m not sure if this study included
any women who had adopted children. I’d guess no since that would add another variable
but I’d be interested to see the results of such a study.

But does that prove the bond is instinctual? Or are mothers
responding to something else? Is this bond caused by biological factors, such
as the exchange of hormones before and after a child is born?

In cases where a child is the result of a traumatic
experience, if the child is unplanned or the mother doesn’t have the means to
care the child, there is less of a bond. In such situations, there is a higher
rate of postpartum depression. There is a feeling of resentment and disconnect.
This is certainly not true in all cases but it is statistically more likely.

The truth is, we really aren’t sure yet. I’m inclined to say
there might be a level of instinct but it’s more than that. However, in society
if a woman doesn’t love children, it’s assumed that she would be a bad mother
to her own children. If she isn’t instantly bonded with her children after
birth, she’s frigid and not a “real” woman. Those things simply aren’t true.

While
I don’t have children, I know plenty of women who do. Some of them aren’t fond of other people’s children. Some love all children. Some felt an instant
bond, others didn’t. But they are all the best mother’s they can be… which is
all one could ever ask for.

Being a mother is a huge commitment and can be exhausting. I
commend all those who take on the challenge. Especially, my own mother… for
without her, I wouldn’t be writing this. And I mean that in the obvious way but
also because of her love and faith in me.

So… hi mom! Happy belated mother’s day!