Transit
By Jonathan Albert
Jonathan Albert is an adjunct professor of theatre at Union College. He teaches acting and playwriting. He is also the owner of Putnam Den in Saratoga Springs. We are happy Planet Jonathan is in concentric orbit with Planet Arthur.
http://www.sarahszotphotography.com/
Sounds of crickets at night. Sounds of water slowly washing ashore. A distant foghorn.
Two men sit alone on a bare stage. They are in a state of rest. Sam, the younger of the two, opens his eyes and picks up his head. He stands and looks around at the unfamiliar space. Sam walks downstage, kneels – and places his ear to the floor. Pat does not move.
SAM
Train’s coming.
Pat moves only what is necessary to speak.
PAT
You think so?
SAM
Feels like it.
PAT
Yeah?
SAM
Sounds like it.
PAT
Then it’s coming.
SAM
That’s what I said.
PAT
And I heard ya.
Silence. Sam steps back toward Pat.
SAM
Well? Pat!
PAT
Well what? Sam.
SAM
Aren’t you going to check?
PAT
I’ll take your word for it.
SAM
Don’t do that!
He waits for an answer.
SAM
Come on! Don’t take my word!
PAT
Fine!
Pat moves. A lot. He starts downstage.
PAT
I was comfortable, ya know? Sitting! It was comfortable. Content…
SAM
Complacent…
PAT
Con-tent.
SAM
Just check!
PAT
Why?
SAM
It’s important!
PAT
So is being comfortable.
SAM
It’s important!
PAT
Uh-huh.
SAM
It is!
PAT
Why? Why is it soooo important?
SAM
It’s important to get things right. It’s important to know what’s coming. It’s important when change is about to come. It’s important. So put your ear to the ground and check.
PAT
What would you do without me?
Pat places his ear to the ground. Sam looks around as if Pat has vanished. A wave washes over Sam as he is saddened by the thought of a life without Pat. He wells up. Pat picks up his head and notices.
PAT
Hey. Hey it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. Hey- it’s okay…
SAM
Promise?
PAT
Yes. I promise. I’m sorry I said that.
Sam wipes the tears from his eyes and slowly nods.
SAM
Okay.
PAT
And yes. I concur with your previous consideration. I support your educated conjecture calling that the train is indeed coming.
SAM
Yeah?
PAT
Yeah.
SAM
HA! I knew it! I told you it was coming. I told you I heard it. I Told You. The train is coming! It’s coming. I knew it. I said it was coming. I told you.
PAT
I heard you…
SAM
You heard it…
PAT
Yes I did.
SAM
I said it. You heard it! It’s coming. Train train Mo Pain- Banana Fanna Foe Feign – sing with me Patti – Me My Mo Pain, Traaaiiiin!!!
Singing.
PAT
Drivin’ that train, high on Amoxa-pain, Casey Jones you bettah watch yo speed. Trouble ahead, trouble behind, and you know that notion just crossed my miiiind.
Singing.
SAM
Everybody’s doin’ that brand new dance now, come on baby, do that LOCOMOTIVE!
Singing.
PAT
Good mornin’ America, how are ya? Donchya know me, I’m your native son. I’m the TRAIN they call the City of New Orleans, I’ll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done.
Sam initiates the first lines of Quad City DJ’s Cmon Ride It.
SAM
Come on, ride that train!
He points at Pat. Pat doesn’t understand.
SAM
Come on, ride that train!
He points again.
SAM
And ride it!
Pat recognizes the song as Quad City DJ’s C’mon ‘N Ride It. The two do a few bars together.
SAM
Come on ride that train!
PAT
And ride it.
SAM
Come on ride that train-
SAM / PAT
And ride it!
Sam begins to fatigue. Starts singing a different song.
SAM
Smokes a pack a day, oh wait that’s me, but anyway- she doesn’t care a thing about that, hey, she thinks I’m beautiful. Meet Virginia. I can’t wait toooo… Meet Virginia, hey eee yaaay…
PAT
What?
SAM
What?
PAT
What was that?
SAM
Meet Virginia. By Train…
PAT
Bit of a stretch…
SAM
No.
PAT
You’re ridiculous.
SAM
I’m ridiculous? You do better.
Pat prepares himself. He takes as much enjoyment in singing it as Sam does listening to it.
PAT
Hello. I’m Johnny Cash.
Singing.
PAT
I hear the train a comin’, it’s rolling round the bend… and I ain’t seen the sunshine since… i don’t know when… I’m stuck inside this prison and time keeps draggin’ on but that train keeps a rollin’ down on down to San Antone… When I was just a baby my mama told me son, always be a good boy, don’t ever play with guns, but I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, when I hear that whistle blowin’ I hang my head and cry…
SAM
That was a good one, Pat.
PAT
Thank you Virginia.
SAM
Virginia and Patricia, together forever.
PAT
Ya know, there’s a song in there somewhere…
SAM
Yeah?
PAT
Or a play.
SAM
Or a warning label on some pharmaceutical drug that makes your imagination disappear.
PAT
We should be writing this stuff down.
The pair looks at each other… Then they look up… It rains… They don’t react to the drops on their faces.
***************
